Today (October 11th) is National Coming Out Day! As a sober person who is part of the LGBTQI community, I know our recovery journeys are unique and worth celebrating. Of course, LGBTQI people are not a monolith; everyone has their own experience, based both on their intersections of identities and individual circumstances. But every queer person deserves an affirming environment in which to get and stay sober.
I was lucky to get sober in a city where I already had a big queer community. This isn’t the case for everyone—and unfortunately many LGBTQI people don’t find themselves represented at typical AA meetings. This may cause hesitation to get sober. People might fear they will have to hide who they are—while secrecy, shame, or internalized homophobia/transphobia may have played a part in their addiction in the first place.
LGBTQI people often find connection in gay bars. It can be challenging to give this up, especially when you don’t see yourself represented in sober spaces. Many cities and towns do have AA and other sober support groups specifically for LGBTQI people; if you are looking for a queer-friendly group, be sure to google it.
By coincidence, I have eight close sober friends, almost all of whom I knew before we were all sober. Six of them are queer. I don’t think that part’s a coincidence; addiction rates are high among LGBTQI people.
According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), 9% of LGB people use opioids, compared with 3.8% of heterosexual people. NIDA also states that LGBTQI people often enter treatment with more severe Substance Use Disorders. These statistics can be sobering (no pun intended), but they also mean that finding other queer, sober people won’t be as hard as it may seem.
“Coming out” is often talked about as though it’s one isolated event. But as someone with personal experience, that’s not exactly how it works. You have to come out at different times in different areas of your life. You have to assess when it’s safe to reveal certain personal details and when it’s not.
So while coming out is not always one big celebratory event, each time you do it takes bravery and a load off your shoulders. That part of it is worth celebrating, especially for those who have struggled with addiction and may have been weighed down by all kinds of secrets.
If you have a queer friend in recovery, try reaching out to them today. If you are queer yourself, today is a good day to provide mutual support to other sober LGBTQI people in your community—or to start building a queer recovery community. Finding people who can relate to your experiences will always help your recovery.
If you are struggling with a substance use or mental health disorder, there is hope. TruHealing Centers across the country offer an affirming environment for you to get sober. Our staff—many of whom are in recovery themselves—will help you work through traumas that may have caused you to use and build healthy coping skills. Call an admissions specialist at 410-593-0005.