We tend to think of joy as something that just happens to us. When good things occur, we’ll be happy. But really, finding joy is a skill that you can practice. You don’t have to sit around and wait for your life to be perfect. Relatedly, joy and grief can exist in tandem.
In active addiction, it’s much harder to practice that skill. Before I got sober, I was stuck in all-or-nothing thinking that told me I was either happy or I wasn’t. I was somewhat of a victim to my thoughts and feelings, believing I had no control over them. In sobriety, I’ve learned that while life brings all sorts of wonderful and hard things, I always have control over how I frame my thoughts.
This gives me a fundamentally different worldview from the one I had when I was in active addiction. It doesn’t mean I never feel sad or angry or have times of struggle; it means I am better at managing those feelings.
Therapy can help you identify and change negative thought patterns. Journaling can also help, if you learn to notice when you get stuck in destructive loops. Learning to notice is a big step, because without interventions like these, we can be on mental autopilot. Once you identify these thoughts, you can start to challenge them.
Being excited about growth in sobriety has helped my recovery and added a lot of joy to my life. Even though I’m eight years sober, I know I’ll grow; active addiction holds you back from the natural growth you can expect just from time passing, and recovery brings so much positive change.
Another part of finding joy in recovery is engaging in fulfilling activities. This helps at the neurochemical level. Dr. Suzette Glasner-Edwards—associate professor at the Jane and Terry Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior at UCLA—says replacing the high dopamine levels that flood the system during addiction with enjoyable activities can keep people sober.
“People with the most success in staying sober tend to get involved in a range of pleasurable activities and do them frequently,” she says. She suggests either getting back into hobbies you lost touch with when you were drinking or using—or learning something new.
You don’t have to feel pressure to find the one thing you love the most and do it forever; as she says, a “range of pleasurable activities” is helpful, which means you get to try things out and see what works.
Finding joy doesn’t mean never struggling. It means the ability to really experience the good things in life and to learn from the challenges.
If you are struggling with a substance use or mental health disorder, there is hope. TruHealing Centers offers high-quality treatment for addiction and mental health disorders in facilities across the country. Our staff—many of whom are in recovery themselves—will help you challenge negative thought patterns and build happiness in recovery. Call an admissions specialist at 410-593-0005.