Developing emotional resilience—the ability to cope with and adapt to stressful situations—is a big part of recovery. When I was in active addiction, I could barely handle even the smallest stressors. When you drink or use drugs any time you’re uncomfortable, you don’t build healthy coping skills.
In less than a month I’ll be eight years sober, and at every milestone I’ve noticed a greater ability to cope with challenges. While I still struggle and am still healing, it’s all more manageable.
Steven Southwick and Dennis Charney, who have studied resilient people for over two decades, notice traits/skills that those with emotional resilience have in common.[1] One of these is a realistically optimistic outlook.
“Like pessimists, realistic optimists pay close attention to negative information that is relevant to the problems they face,” they say in their book, Resilience: The Science of Mastering Life’s Greatest Challenges. “However, unlike pessimists, they do not remain focused on the negative. They tend to disengage rapidly from problems that appear to be unsolvable.”
One practical way to cultivate this outlook is to journal regularly, writing down what you’re grateful for, what worries you have, and what you hope to change.
When it comes to your worries, think about whether anything you do could change the outcome. If there’s anything you can do, write that down. If there isn’t, think about how you’ll release the worry. Seeing all this on the page can remind you both of what you have in your life and what you can control.
Relatedly, Southwick and Charney found that resilient people see confronting fears as an opportunity to grow.[2] Facing your fears, especially over a period of time, makes them less scary. But resolving to face them is hard; seeing it as a way to become stronger can motivate you to do it. I have a list of fears I’ve faced that I started around a year sober that I update sometimes. Sometimes I’ll read it before I’m about to do something scary to remind me of my resilience and courage.
Another thing resilient people have in common is that they give and receive support.[3] If you’re in recovery, you’ve probably heard that connecting to a support system is important. Getting and staying sober is an enormous feat; receiving support rom others gives you strength to get through the hard parts. It’s not just getting support, though. Giving it also builds resilience.
Sobriety requires a ton of resilience, but it’s okay if you don’t start out feeling like you have much. It’s a skill, and like other skills, it takes practice. You can build strength throughout your recovery.
If you are struggling with a substance use or mental health disorder, there is help and hope. TruHealing Centers offers high-quality treatment for addiction and mental health disorders in facilities across the country. Our staff—many of whom are in recovery themselves—will help you build emotional resilience so you can face any stressors sober. Call an admissions specialist at 410-593-0005.
[1] https://time.com/4306492/boost-emotional-resilience/
[2] https://time.com/4306492/boost-emotional-resilience/
[3] https://time.com/4306492/boost-emotional-resilience/