Most people occasionally feel envious. This can be exacerbated by social media, where we typically only see the best snippets of people’s lives. Even though we know intellectually this isn’t the full picture, we may respond emotionally.
It’s okay to feel jealous sometimes. But if you’re constantly comparing your life to others’, it’s not helpful for your recovery. Envy keeps you out of the present. It makes you unable to enjoy what’s here because you’re so concerned with what’s there.
Gratitude can be a balm for the negative, obsessive thoughts typical of active addiction. Making a list of all the things in your life you’re grateful for can drown out thoughts about other people’s lives. The key is to focus on yours—how to enjoy what you have, and how to work on the things you want to change.
Active addiction often distorts all emotions, either disconnecting you from them or exaggerating them. Jealousy can be so overwhelming that people may seek to numb out their emotions. It tends to become obsessive and drown out other thoughts. Another study found that a significant amount of people reported drinking to cope with feelings of jealousy.
But in recovery—even if we’ve been sober for years and have worked on ourselves—no one is a saint. You may feel jealous in relation to your sobriety. In my first couple of years sober, I worried I’d wasted so many years in active addiction that I was behind others. I often felt jealous of people I imagined had had the freedom to pursue what they wanted while I was drinking and using excessively.
Many of us in recovery have moments of regretting the time we spent in active addiction. But it’s possible to work with those thoughts, rather than be overwhelmed by them.
When those thoughts and feelings arise, it can be helpful to remind yourself that everyone is on a different path. When I’ve felt this in the past, I’ve also reminded myself that there are things I have in sobriety—and things I’ve learned—that I couldn’t have if I’d never been addicted in the first place. Sobriety is a gift.
If you are struggling with a substance use or mental health disorder, there is help and hope. TruHealing Centers offers high-quality treatment for addiction and mental health disorders in facilities across the country. Our staff—many of whom are in recovery themselves—will help you learn to cope with difficult emotions without using substances. You can thrive in long-term recovery; we will help you get there. Call an admissions specialist at 410-593-0005.