Even if you’re working hard on yourself in recovery, you’re bound to experience moments that feel like “failures.” This is part of life, so it’s also part of recovery.
Don’t Push the Feeling Aside
Feelings of failure are often tied to disappointment. You have an expectation of how things will work out, and they don’t meet that expectation. It’s understandable if a lot of painful feelings arise.
Try to notice how it feels in your body. Does your stomach drop? Do you feel hot? Identifying physical sensations keeps you present in the feeling. This is extra important when you think something you wanted to do has failed, because we often attach unnecessary stories to this feeling.
We tend to tie success to self-worth; a failure to achieve a goal feels like failure as a person. This is a toxic thought—and it’s not true. Sitting with the feeling in your body helps you get away from telling yourself this story.
Failure Isn’t All Bad
It’s helpful to remember that when things don’t go as expected, it has a lot to teach us. So many people who are very successful have talked about failing along the way, and how those failures weren’t just setbacks, but important in their own right. Beyoncé’s first group Girl’s Tyme (later Destiny’s Child) lost on the show Star Search. On her song “Flawless,” you can hear an audio clip of that losing performance, meaning she later used this “failure” in her art.
Coping With a Relapse
If your “failure” during recovery is a relapse, it can feel distressing, but that doesn’t say anything about you or your ability to stay sober. Relapse is often considered part of recovery, as 40-60% of people who have been treated for addiction relapse within a year.
When you get sober again after a relapse, you can apply things you learned about the thoughts that preceded the relapse. You can notice these thoughts more quickly and figure out how you might cope with them differently. The chances of relapsing decrease the more time you spend sober. During that time, you’re also learning how to cope with setbacks and difficult feelings in a healthy way.
If you are struggling with a substance use or mental health disorder, there is hope. TruHealing Centers offers high-quality treatment for addiction and mental health disorders in facilities across the country. Our staff—many of whom are in recovery themselves—will help you turn setbacks into success in recovery. To learn more, call an admissions specialist at 410-593-0005.